We were warriors once, of the Scottish variety, wrapped in tartan blankets with our faces painted blue. Our women were Playboy bunnies, bare skin bound in black Lycra, shivering in the frozen night.

The air was so cold that our breaths became crystals, suspended in front of our ­faces before shattering to the ground. State Street sat a long mile from our hotel, and the walk there was killing us. The shots we’d downed were not doing their job of cloaking our souls in liquid warmth.

“How many more blocks?” Shelly asked me as she wrapped her arms around her frail torso.

“Fifty,” I said.

Continue reading “Holloween”

You Should Date an Illiterate Girl

“Date a girl who doesn’t read. Find her in the weary squalor of a Midwestern bar. Find her in the smoke, drunken sweat, and varicolored light of an upscale nightclub. Wherever you find her, find her smiling. Make sure that it lingers when the people that are talking to her look away. Engage her with unsentimental trivialities. Use pick-up lines and laugh inwardly. Take her outside when the night overstays its welcome. Ignore the palpable weight of fatigue. Kiss her in the rain under the weak glow of a streetlamp because you’ve seen it in a film. Remark at its lack of significance. Take her to your apartment. Dispatch with making love. Fuck her.

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Hipsters: The New New Puritanism?

Came across this on reddit:

“The hipster phenomenon has been regarded with, among other things, amusement, derision, and confusion by those outside the hipster subculture. Several websites (most particularly metafilter) disdain the use of the term itself, saying that it most commonly is used to mean “young affluent white people who I consider beneath me,” and generally lacks definition or any real reason for the profound dislike of hipsters emerging whenever the term is used.

In trying to pinpoint the defining traits of hipsters, I have come to a conclusion: hipsters are simply a new manifestation (brought to you by contemporary economic conditions, among other things) of Neo-Puritanism.

Hipsters pursue aesthetics in a way demanding work. They want to listen to obscure bands for obscurity’s sake (one of the most consistently documented features of hipster culture), and as soon as bands become popular, they lose their luster/appeal — though some still retain fondness for difficult to obtain early work. In other words, for it to be hipster-approved, you have to have worked to listen. If it’s on the radio, it came to you too easily. If a band is popular, you didn’t have to work to find them and appreciate them. The more obscure the band, the more you had to work and the more impressed other hipsters are.

When hipsters like more plebian things, they’re one of two things typically: they’re liked “ironically,” or they’re “guilty pleasures.” These two constructs each reinforce the idea of hipster as neo-Puritan. Ironic enjoyment of lowbrow culture shows that one isn’t simply enjoying things for the sake of enjoyment, they are working hard to appreciate it on a wholly different level. Guilty pleasures take an end-run around the work requirement for appropriate hipster enjoyment: you can enjoy it, but you need to feel appropriately guilty for doing so.

The same follows for other aesthetic traits, as well: while purchasing expensive stuff from Urban Outfitters may be considered okay, it’s poseur-ish. The real hipster works for his/her faded retro furniture and distressed clothing by shopping extensively at thrift stores. Unique vintage finds show that you not only have an eye for style, it shows you worked hard to find a store and perused poorly organized racks until they found something perfect.

Previous iterations of neo-Puritan thought in the United States have manifested as the Baby Boomer hardcore work ethic and intense dislike of people perceived as “lazy,” including many Gen Xers. Until the hipster phenomenon, neo-Puritans often focused their work drive on career goals. However, jobs have been notably scarce and adolescence has been prolonged among Millenials due to economic problems. Combined with aesthetic preferences increasingly connoting group membership and socioeconomic status, hipsters have transferred their neo-Puritan ethic into the pursuit of aesthetics.”